My Two Greatest Loves

2

September 22, 2014 by holy rollin hooker

Excuse the scarf...It's been a bad hair week

Excuse the scarf…It’s been a bad hair week

So, why combine my faith with my crafting—other than the fact that faith should be combined with everything we do? Well, it seemed only natural to me since God is the one responsible for gifting me the gift of craft. Let’s make a really, really long story short here.

Back in 2009 I pretty much had it made. I was very close to finishing graduate school, I lived in a great apartment in a great area mere blocks from the beach with great roommates, and money wasn’t plentiful, but it wasn’t scarce either. All of that changed literally overnight. You see, all of that greatness was masking a lifelong battle with depression, and one day it all just came to a head. I grabbed the nearest bottle of pills (which happened to be Valium), a bottle of vodka, and had myself one interesting night. Needless to say my attempt came to naught, thank God, and within a week I had dropped out of grad school, quit my job, moved back home with my poverty stricken family in a not so great area, and was broke mind, body, spirit, and wallet. And then the real depression began.

I had tried to learn to crochet for years. My ever patient mother would sit me down with the biggest hook she had and a skein of yarn and within five minutes I was totally over it. I was always too busy to put any real effort into it. Well in May of ’09, I was not so busy anymore. I sat in my tiny little room all day staring at the walls and wishing those Valium had worked a little better. I literally had nothing to do from sun up to sundown. And this went on for well three years my friends. Then one day, I spotted a discarded ball of yarn tucked into a corner somewhere. Mind you, by this point I was totally convinced that I was a born failure and would never again succeed at anything. I mean, if you can’t even manage to kill yourself thoroughly, what can you do?

Anyways, for some reason I got it into my head to take that ball of yarn and one of my mom’s crochet hooks and try to crochet, fully expecting to fail. And would you believe that I actually managed to do a successful chain of, like, thirty stitches. Well, this was as far as I had ever gotten before and I was almost content with that. But, and I really don’t exaggerate this, something took over my hands and before I knew it I had turned those thirty chains into thirty single crochet stitches. I had never in my life done a single crochet stitch. I didn’t even know what it was. My mother and I never made it that far in our lessons.

By the next day I was fully immersed and fully “hooked.” I grabbed books, watched YouTube vids, went back to my mom, anything I could to feed the beast. Within a month the bulk of my life crippling depression was gone and I actually felt a tiny sense of hope and purpose return to me. And I am fully and thoroughly convinced that God was the one who not only prompted me to pick up that stupid ball of yarn, but that he also literally touched my hands and gifted me the ability.

Now some people may think, “God has better things to do than to teach you how to crochet,” and to those people I say, “No…he doesn’t.” God gives us the desires of our hearts and he also gives us exactly what we need when we need it. He knew that at the time I desperately needed to feel like I was not a complete failure and that I was capable of something…anything. By giving me the ability to crochet, he did more than just give me a hobby. He gave me a sense of accomplishment; he gave me something tangible to hold on to; he slowly but surely renewed my faith in Him and in myself; and he gave me a testimony which I am now sharing with you.

So, why combine my faith with my crafting? Because… why not…?

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2 thoughts on “My Two Greatest Loves

  1. That was a lovely read. Thank you for sharing your testimony. We all have a testimony to share don’t we? I find crocheting, knitting and all things crafts to be therapeutic. I had cancer many years ago and was heavily into scrapbooking. Not so much now as my hobbies change like the seasons do but I enjoy sitting down with a pile of colorful paper and scissors and just going at it. It’s the same with a ball of yarn. I go crazy when I come across of shelf full of colorful yarn at Joanns…lol! . God is so wonderful isn’t He? He knows just what we need to calm our anxious spirit and bring us the peace we need in our lives. God bless you and thanks again for sharing your story.

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